Today morning we had a fire drill.No, there was no implement with cutting edges involved, nor there were any pyrotechnics involved, it was more of an exercise in testing the musical instruments in the auditory organs of my body ("ear drums" for those who had no clue of what i was talking about.. no more hints from now on :) ), and although it seemed like an everyday ho-hum occurrence for all the americans in my office,I was shaken to the very "Indian ear core" and was totally "shrilled" out.( Although the eerie oooooo bow of the gali ke kutte (dogs) bhoking, the neighbourhood "basti" woman quarelling and the thak thak of my building's watchman danda as he did his rounds in the night didnt effect my (y)"ears" in desh and I slept like kumbhu (of the karan category), this was something else).

However the sound did something else too, it jumpstarted the thing between the organs being tortured. As I walked out I suspect people must have seen a distinct increase in the circumfrence of my head, it was because of the neurons in my brain now crazily aroused, jumping around in uncontrollable brownian motion pushing the "gray" walls of its "matter", in short I was in fullto chahca chaoudhary ka dimaag computer se be tez chalta hai form ..

And then as I was standing there, looking alien like with the bloated head, I saw two Indian gentlemen(cant be sure they were gentle, so scratch that, no, I will not explain how do I know they were men, aha you ask ? how do I know they were Indian, Good question, I think brown skin ..and ofcourse my medula oblongata was in prime form ..so these things came naturally) ..but i digress, this the problem with you, you keep asking stupid questions and lead me astray, I was sharp today morning, now I am the regular bozo, what if I forget what I had to tell in the first place.. Plis, no interruption ..

Anyways as soon as I saw them I could make out man (not necessarily gentle) A was mera types, came to the US to attend grad shool or direct L1 visa, lives on Top Ramen, shares bedroom with 4 other guys, idea of fun is to watch zee or sun or gemini (as case maybe, we are multilingual society i say)tv movie trailors, blushes at the mention of "ash", can tell you ball by ball account of Tendulkars first gali cricket innings when he was still in pre school, speaks only in three letter techie acronyms (ASP, JSP, .NET, SQL, COM, XML etc.. ) and B was an ABCD ( I dont know much about them so I will not describe them :| )..Buttt (no thats not the part of female anatomy I most prefer, but that is the topic of another post, I wanted to close out this para and jump out of this thought, but I know what you are thinking as alternatives ..chee chee.. what did you think it was, anyways ..to clarify matters it is in fact the tip of the fourth toe of the left foot, why ? .. my wish .. i dont have to explain what i like ..and you stop asking pointless questions, I had already given warning before ) .. since brain was firing on all cylinders, I went one step ahead, I thought ki how did I manage to instantly figure out the difference between the two different species, ki who was desi and kiska baap was a desi, ki uncle kaun? ( lame reference, will be understood by die hard fans of Andaaz Apna Apna) ..

and.. then I had the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree enlightenment moment, the answer was right in front of me, it was all clear shampoo ..(i got carried away, years of bombardment on indian channels, scratch out the shampoo) .. it was the ..it was the ..trumpets blowing in the background ..cylindrical, keratinized, filaments characteristically growing from epidermis ..yes ladies and gentlemen, bhaiyon aur unki behon ..it was the baal, juttu, hair (I know only these languages please feel free to add more) that was the difference.. the Indian A had dull, lifeless, disgruntled spaghetti (yes yes, I personify my food.. as Govinda says, meri marzee) plonked on his head and the ABCD ( not at all confused about his hair ) had fresh, gelled, full of life, pointed hair.. that was it, in my moment of clarity I saw the one thing which distinguished them..

So now you have it, you know the secret too, the desi baap of the ABCD bacha had handed him a shiny new bottle of gel on each of his bday and thus the difference ki ABCD ke baal motiyon jaise chamak rahe the!(another obscure reference to an ad, Dabur lal dunt manjan, damn the time I spent on my "Dyanaora" TV watching Indian ads).But dont take my word for it, go out see for yourself and tell me if it is true and I can publish my findings in the "obvious musings journal of immigrational generational differences".

Did I mention that I was standing in front of CVS ..what do you think I bought next ? A shiny new bottle of American Crew Gel, no no not for me ( you are not reading carefully are you ).. for my future ABCD beta ofcourse (there was a sale na ..isiliye) ;)

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